Wedding Day Advice | Wedding Planning

How to Plan a Bachelorette Party. Visit a nightspot on any given Saturday evening and there you will see at least one bachelorette party in progress – a young woman wearing a Bride-to-Be sash and Alice band with mini glow-in-the-dark dildos bouncing suggestively on springs, surrounded by a gaggle of gal pals a-whooping and a-hollering. Is a bachelorette party for you? Here’s what you need to know…

Photo courtesy of 100layercake.com

What is a Bachelorette Party?

It’s a party held for her by a bride-to-be’s friends and family just before her wedding day. Ideally, bachelorette parties (also referred to as hen’s parties) are held anywhere from one to four weeks before the wedding. Remember: not a good idea to go large the night before your wedding day if you plan on looking like a ravishing blushing bride.

How the Bachelorette Party Differs from the Kitchen Tea

In days gone by, there were certain expectations of unmarried men and women, and specific gender roles assigned to them. While men were encouraged to sow their wild oats prior to marriage and have one last night of playboy excess before their big day, women had to conform and behave and made do with a polite tea party (known as a kitchen tea or bridal shower) where they opened presents given to them by female relatives and friends – usually kitchen appliances and other useful items which a good wife could use after marriage to set up home. The bachelorette party kicked back at this stereotype – in its true form the bachelorette party takes its cue from the groom’s bachelor party and is firmly focused on celebrating to the max a ‘last night of freedom’ before getting hitched.

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Who is Responsible for Organising the Bachelorette Party?

This duty falls on the Maid of Honour (MoH). If you’ve opted not to have an MoH, nor indeed bridesmaids, ask a close friend or family member to do the honours.

• Need help co-ordinating the bachelorette party? Hire a professional party planner.

Who Should Pay for the Bachelorette Party?

Definitely not the bride! However, it’s unfair to expect the MoH – as organiser-in-chief – to carry all the costs herself. The fairest way is to get all those attending to put a specified amount into a kitty to fund the event – get everyone to cough up some time before the party so that you have an actual budget with which to work. Be strict, too – no pay, no way. When deciding what sort of party you’ll host, do be sensitive to everyone’s budgetary constraints.

Who Should Attend a Bachelorette Party?

Usually, the party is reserved for close girlfriends and younger female relatives of the bride. Aim for a jovial, drama-free occasion; anyone who might upset the bride, for whatever reason, need not be invited. Depending on their personalities and the format of the party, the mother-of-the-bride and mother-of-the-groom may also be invited. Social conventions are more fluid these days, so if the bride has close male friends, straight or gay, who she’d like to include, there’s no reason why a bachelorette party cannot be a co-ed affair. Once you’ve drawn up your guest list, do send invitations out in good time – your choice whether this will be via phone call, email or printed invitations. Be aware that not everyone on your list may be able to make it; always be gracious towards those who decline to attend.

Bachelorette Party Ideas

Stuck for ideas? Have a look at these:

• Rough and raunchy –The original bachelorette party; where the girls don short skirts and high heels, drink shooters and bump and grind around a strippers pole or with scantily clad male exotic dancers. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander!
• Slick and Sophisticated–Pull on a pretty cocktail dress and enjoy sundowners at a trendy cocktail bar.Take in a live band or a comedy show, nibble on sushi and, if you choose, dance ‘til the wee hours.
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• Girls Weekend Away–Planning a wedding can be super-stressful; why not get away from it with a weekend mini-break? Relax at a spa, on the beach or release some tension with a short adventure holiday. Screaming girlie bridal party white-water rafting?Hell, yeah!

Photo courtesy of 100layercake.com

• Second-time Around – Conventional etiquette dictates that brides getting married for the second time should forego a bachelorette party. Bah, do what you feel! If you’re over the big night out, however, opt for dinner and drinks. Spoil yourself a little, though – hire a limo to fetch your glammed-up girls, book a private room at a swanky restaurant and pop a few Champagne corks!
• Stag-and-Doe Party–Many couples these days choose not to have separate bachelorette and bachelor parties, but to combine them into one party, called a stag-and-doe or Jack and Jill party. Such parties can take many forms – a dinner-dance or night-out-on-the-town, for example. Here, the MoH and Best Man would collaborate in planning the event. Often, a fundraising component is included, with a whip-round amongst guests (and strangers, too) to collect cash for the couple’s wedding or honeymoon expenses.

It’s Supposed to be Fun!

Bachelorette party not your style? Don’t feel pressured into body shots with a young bartender if that’s not your scene. Remember, it’s your party so make sure your MoH knows how you feel and what you’d be comfortable doing. Ask her to consider the more traditional options of a bridal shower, pamper party or kitchen tea. For ideas, see what these hens and pamper party service providers have to offer.